I miss me too

(A poem I have written about PND. Could potentially be upsetting as includes realistic descriptions of how I feel/have felt as a sufferer)

Today a friend told me I miss you,

And it made me think “I miss me too”.

I miss the carefree girl from before,

Full of smiles and laughs and jokes galore.

I don’t mean way back before my first tot,

I accepted that becoming a mum changes a lot.

But it started to happen when I welcomed my second,

It was then that the monster of PND beckoned

And dragged me down a barely lit road

Where I feel burdened by an unbearable load.

The weight of self-loathing, guilt and fears,

Where the slightest thing can trigger the tears.

It tries to isolate me from all my friends,

Makes me want to sleep for hours on end.

To block out the the feelings and thoughts in my head,

Trying to tell me I’m better off dead.

With medication, help and time my mind can be healed,

But right now sometimes life doesn’t hold much appeal.

For the sake of my children I will hold on so tight,

Until the dawn comes and breaks this dark dark night.

If you’ve read this now and you truly understand,

I pray someone is there to hold your hand.

Because when someone says I miss you and all you can think

Is “I miss me too” it makes your heart sink.

Much love,

LGL x

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One thought on “I miss me too”

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